I remember one of the first moments we seriously started discussing marriage. As students living in different states, we knew it would add extra weight to our already busy lives. We found ourselves asking, “What’s the real difference? Why not just stay friends? Why go through the formalities of a wedding?” For someone like me, an introvert, the thought of enduring engagement rites and receptions was enough to make me want to run for the hills. So, why marry? Honestly, I’m not sure if I have a definitive answer. But for those curious, I’ll share some of the thoughts and reasons we’ve thought about, at least the ones we feel comfortable sharing.
The Power of Prayer: A Spiritual Bond
Praying together feels like it would be even more meaningful as a married couple. One thing I’m truly grateful for is the countless opportunities I’ve had to pray with Debby. We’ve grown from being shy about it to comfortably praying with our cameras on, and eventually, praying about everything. But there was always a hesitation to say, “God, please help this family.” You see, we were close friends, but not yet a family. If praying together as friends was so enriching, how much more powerful would it be as a family? It felt like it would be “like the precious ointment upon the head, that ran down upon the beard, even Aaron’s beard: that went down to the skirts of his garments. As the dew of Hermon, and as the dew that descended upon the mountains of Zion.” And as you may know, “there the Lord commanded the blessing, even life forevermore.” These thoughts were incredibly tempting and made the idea of marriage very attractive. So, why marry? We couldn’t wait to experience even sweeter moments in prayer together.
The Gift of Companionship: Walking Life’s Path Together
You probably saw this coming, especially since Psalm 133, which I quoted earlier, begins with, “Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together”. We’ve kept each other’s company, mostly virtually, and we’ve grown from being very young to still being young but more aware of the value of companionship. Especially in those isolated moments of life when you’re left alone to climb steep steps or walk through the tortuous paths that Providence has laid out, companionship is invaluable. The phrase “I will hold thee…” comes to life when God places irreplaceable people in your life. It feels as if God, through them, has stretched His everlasting arms from His throne of grace to reach out and help you. We call each other Gifts, not because we arrived in this world wrapped in shiny papers but because, looking back, life has become warmer with our friendship. So, why not get even closer? This time, not just as friends but as a couple dedicated to one another. We don’t see other paths, not because they don’t exist, but because with each other, the others have grown dim. God has created a path for us to walk together, so why shouldn’t we walk in His way?
Finding Purpose: A Journey Together
As adults, we’ve probably heard the word “purpose” countless times while growing up. I remember a time when I was searching for my next step in life. The person I was referred to for guidance asked me to write down what I thought my life purpose was. Who ever really knows these things? I ended up listing things I thought I liked. His response was that I seemed to be following trends rather than my heart. I felt lost. Everyone wants their life’s purpose to be clear. Some spend countless hours fasting and praying to discover it; others scour the pages of books, hoping it hides between the lines of our heroes’ stories. Perhaps it will come to us during meditation or through education. But do we truly know our purpose before we die? Or do we only realize it in hindsight, as our lives unfold? I’m not here to answer these questions but to share that living life and imagining the possibilities of what God can do through the union of two hearts devoted to Him has been incredibly exciting for us. We live each day with the anticipation that “if two of you shall agree on earth as touching anything that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven.” What a promise! As I write this, I’m still thrilled by the idea that whatever purpose God has for us, together and with Him, it can indeed be a beautiful story.
Raising Godly Children: A Shared Mission
“For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the LORD…” I’ve always been envious of this story. God indeed knew it. We continue to pray to be the kind of parents that have the mind of Abraham, but as Christians, we understand that we can’t truly fulfill this desire unless we get married. The prospect of raising godly children is a significant motivation for us, as we hope to create a home where faith and love are the foundation.
….And The Joy of Sharing: Spending Someone Else’s Money
As I discussed this article with Debby, she reminded me that one of her reasons for getting married is to spend someone else’s money. Well, I’m extremely excited to spend someone else’s money too.